Helping children deal with conflict

If you’re looking for resources on helping your child deal with conflict, there are some great tips to check out at the Child Mind Institute, to help all kids thrive.   From relationships with siblings (when they won’t stop fighting), to supporting your child deal with the big feelings that come from conflict.  

There is also a video that provides a helpful overview on helping your child calm down by:

1. Naming the emotion (a simple skill that can make these big emotions a little less intense)
2. Validating their feelings – listening without judgement & not jumping in to fix straight away
3. Actively ignoring – withdraw attention from whining and arguing
4. Giving them positive attention: the most powerful tool that parents have in influencing behaviour
5. Providing clear expectations & consistent routines
6. Giving them clear options – “you can get ready for bed now and we can read a story together – or you can get ready for bed in 10 minutes and no story”.

You can read more and check out the video here.

All of us get frustrated sometime; it’s about finding ways to manage that without hurting ourselves or others. When we model describing our own feelings and how to manage them, children get a real-world example of what these strategies look like in practice. Lastly, setting aside a small amount of time every day to do something with your child that they chose, can help them manage stress at other points in the day.  Even if they are having a tough time at school, for example, they know they can look forward to a special time with their parent. Dr. Samar says, “It’s a time, no matter what happened that day, to reinforce that ‘I love you no matter what.’ ”

 Cheryl