From our School Psychologist
Is Discipline Good for Your Child? Absolutely—but here’s what really matters – Nurturing Guidance.
By Dr. Siggie Cohen
Another week with words of wisdom from parenting guru, Dr. Siggie. You can read full details in her blog: https://drsiggie.com/blog/is-discipline-good-for-your-child-absolutely-but-heres-what-really-matters. I’ve tried to capture her key points below.
These days disciplining (or let’s use my preferred term, nurturing guidance) often gets a bad rap. But guidance is not only beneficial for your child – it’s essential for their wellbeing, for building skills in perseverance and resilience, and for children to develop critical coping skills and emotional intelligence. Dr. Siggie discussed two types of discipline:
Control-based discipline: Do as I say, or else! Or as my wonderful mother used to say, Do as I say, not as I do! We’ve come a long way and now have access to research that parents from yesteryear did not have the benefit of; nevertheless, many parents tried to do the best job they knew how to do. Today, we know that you can’t teach children the skills they need to navigate challenges or regulate their emotions by forcing compliance.
Leadership-based Guidance: Yes, you need to do as I say. Not all the time, but a lot of the time. This is because it’s my job as a parent, and I know what’s best for you because I have more life experience. I can see the bigger picture in a way you can’t yet. Even though it’s hard, I’m here to guide you and support you, until you are ready to do more on your own. This mindset and approach shifts discipline away from control and toward teaching and nurturing your child’s development.
You can subscribe to Dr. Siggie’s newsletter or follow her on FB and Instagram for more strategies to stay calm, confident, and composed; to set clear and effective boundaries; and connect to your child. If you’ve been on social media this week and seen the explosion of discussion around the UK drama series Adolescence, or even brave enough to watch it, you’ll be very aware of the many challenges that currently face our children. There is no such thing as a perfect parent; we are all doing the best job we know how to ?. If you’re finding it a struggle and need of a bit of self-compassion this week, please check out the tips and strategies here and have a gentle week ahead: